Bathurst's BIGGEST DONKEY!

It seems to be a trend with other local blog sites to big themselves and their teams up by reporting EXACTLY to you, the blog-reading public, who the biggest donkeys in the region are. They'll tell you what they play, who they are, why they're so bad, and how often they win by luck.

Not to be outdone, the FIVE HATS AND SHIT crew decided to scour the region looking for who, indeed, is the region's BIGGEST donkey.

Our results were conclusive. We found the worst poker player in Bathurst, nay, the world. His name is Sven, and he lives right outside of town on a little farm. He doesn't do much except play poker all day, yet he's still SUCH a donkey. He calls with any ace or pocket pair, even when we KNOW our bluffs should be knocking him senseless. Ostensibly, he shouldn't be able to match the extremely gangsta skills of the HATS.

But Sven is no ordinary bad player. He just calls our bluffs, sometimes holding nothing but Ace high! I mean, what is that? He cleaned up all our shit by calling when he should have folded, and getting lucky with crappy cards! WHAT A DONKEY.

Sven challenged all our crew to a game of heads up, and we just laughed so hard the region was swallowed up by an intense gale force wind. But he persisted, so Sven ended up taking all of us on.

One by one we dropped out to his donkey calls! He just accumulated chip after chip! He called our bluffs and got lucky on his bad calls! What a donkey! There was no way to beat this damned donkey, even though we knew we were far superior in poker skill to him.

After 20 minutes of donkaments, he took the last chip from me. He had beaten the hats using nothing but donk poker skills.

Ah Sven, you truly are Bathurst's biggest DONKEY!

Here's a pic of Sven, smiling like a DONK after his stupid win.