Online happenings
Well, I was planning on starting my bankroll this weekend but I decided to wait until I get my new computer in a few days and multitable grind on delicious dual monitor goodness. I'm going to be playing on hansapoker.com under the username BWStyles, probably grinding 20NL with occasional shots at 50NL with my 1k BR. I hope to get in 20k hands at 20NL before moving up and making it a full fledged 50NL roll. I need to do this for my own sanity and to prove to myself that I can stick to a bankroll and make consistent money without taking ridiculous gambool shots.
My true goal is to be at 200NL by the end of the year but we'll see how the swings of my bankroll handle that before I consider moving up without at least a roll of 6-7k. My other goal is to be rolled for a preliminary Aussie Millions donkament because I love crown and I'd just love to go to the Millions.
The APL fiasco
Well, it's official. I'm officially banned from the Australian Poker League for... nothing at all. I went down to play the $11 game at the Park yesterday when Craigie informed me that the system wouldn't let me register. So, even though its technically a temp 1-month ban it may as well be lifetime because I've had it with APL's ridiculous tournaments, their blatant misappropriation (ugly word right) of the players' money in prize pools, and their crappy 15minute donk structure (300/600 to 500/1000 to 1000/2000 in the space of half an hour... hmm great tourney there APL) that furthers the gimps' distorted views of themselves that they can indeed play poker and better than most when they get lucky with A9 vs pocket 4s.
Ok enough ranting. Here's how the shenanigans went down. I went over to Orange to play in APL's $1200 first-prize guarantee for the sole reason that since I won the Park Hotel $11 game 2 weeks ago I got a free chipup/addon (worth $22) so I decided to make an appearance and try get lucky ONE TIME.
Before anything started I noticed that pretty much everyone had bought in for double ($44) and that approximately 75% of people added on the extra 3k for $22 extra at the break. At a tournament of roughly 80 runners, one would assume that if the average player spent $50 (taking into account players who had free chip-up cards and those who didnt rebuy) the prize pool would be around the $4,000 mark. However, apparently a guarantee means something different at APL then at other tourneys, because though they guaranteed a prize pool of something like $2750, even if they make over the guarantee, the prize pool stays the same. However, no-one seems to know where the other $1250 goes. I got told in the very first of these APL events that the money would "trickle down" each month so that the prize pool would remain guaranteed for the next game and even increase if the numbers stayed solid.
This was all well and good, but I said at the time (and still say) what about the players who travelled a long way to get to this special hyped up tournament. Players came from Bathurst, Orange, Parkes, Dubbo, Blayney, and even as far as Oberon. They might not be able to make such a long drive each month so why should money go from their pockets to a prize pool they'll have no chance of winning?
There was also the stellar argument that that explanation was, in fact, a lie. The APL I went to the other night (where the bannings occurred) had a prize pool of:
$1200 for first
$500 + poker table for second
$254 third, or something
etc. etc. with the final table all getting at least $100. That is actually a DECREASE in the prize pool from the very first of these chipup/addon games where the first prize was $1500! And I know there was overlay the first time, they had a similar amount of runners and they had a similar amount of rebuys. So where was the money going. Bringing these logical inconsistencies up to Craigie and Boylo who were both hosting the event was probably one of the sparks that made Craigie write me into his report later in the evening that would eventually get me banned from APL. That, and the fact that I work for NPL, I suppose.
Ok, enough ranting again. What happened on the night where I got banned was, I drove out to Orange with Matty, Sarah and Vicky because I had the $22 chip up card that I'd won and I thought fuck it, why waste it even though the tourney is terribad. When we got there we found that the stack size had decreased from 5000 chips per $22 to 3000, basically forcing everyone into the addon. I had a fairly decent stack and chopped at a lot of pots early on, I won't go over any interesting hands because there weren't particularly many, just standard raise pf, c-bet, and either take it down or muck it when the players show strength. No particularly tricky spots. I ended up busting with AK when I shoved PF with 17k and blinds 1k/2k and the button limper, an average weak-tight APL nit, calls with AT and spikes the ten on the flop. (Her explanation: "You bluff too much.") Anyway this isn't a bad beat story post, so movin' on.
I wanted to leave as soon as everyone busted but the twins wanted to watch Sauro (the lone Bathurst representative left) at the final table. So we stayed around for that and Matty and I decided if we were going to be watching these players we'd have a few beers.
It got to Heads-up when I was on my 3rd beer, so I wasn't even tipsy really. I've decided not to name names (though most locals will know what I'm talking about), but a player who normally is quite good natured if a little egocentric at times, was a bit drunk and started lording it up throughout most of the final table. He thought he was Phil F'n Ivey dammit. Singing along with his ipod, claiming he was going to take it all down, he was clearly quite chuffed with himself that he made the final table. Now Sarah and Vicky had been subtly antagonising this guy all night, just pretty much ripping on him, how he was acting, and how he was playing. That's pretty much what the twins do at the table, I think it keeps them amused or something :p.
On one particular heads up hand, the quiet guy who was playing the loud and boisterous player for the $1200 first prize was on the SB and considering what to do with his hand. The loud player said to him, "If you limp in, I'm putting you all in."
The guy considered for a moment and decided to limp in. The loud player immediately shoved. The quiet guy again considered before making a fold. The loud player obnoxiously threw over K4os, saying "I told you I'm going to put you all in. I'm going to bully you every time" (or something to that effect).
Sure enough, a few hands later, with the chipstacks at pretty much even (280,000: 270,000), a chop was offered but declined. The loud player said, "it's fine, I'm going to win the $1300 (?) anyway."
Almost the very next hand, the loud player looks at his hand in the SB, and says, "I'm all in."
The BB looks down at his hand and snap calls, rolling over two red AA. The boisterous SB shows J4, clearly annoyed, but starts rallying about how he can "crack 'em".
The AA holds up (justice?) and Matty yells out, "Go cash in your $1300, [name]
"Come say that to me outside you cunt!" He says. We've heard this player make a similar remark at NPL (but not normally this drunk). We begin to laugh and then the player, in drunken bravado, rushes over like he's going to punch Matty.
This is the part where I committed my horrible sin that got me banned from APL. I stepped in front of my friend, placed up my hand, and said "Settle down, [name]
The guy goes "Fuck off Styles," and continues to push towards Matty. At this point the guy's drunken friend who is about 7 fuckin foot tall came over and started to have a go at me. I told him in no uncertain terms to piss off and that I wasn't interested in starting fights. At this point there's an uproar with security coming to restrain these drunks and the barman and the head of the club coming up to see what the fuss was about.
Just as we think the drunken player has been restrained he breaks away from security, runs to throw an awkward-looking punch at Matty, and ends up tripping and smashing a table stacked with crockery.
As the fight starters get taken down stairs, Craigie says to Matty, the twins and I that we're all getting written up in a report by him and we're going to be banned from APL. The twins go off about how they started the fight and Matty and I did nothing but Craigie doesn't listen. The Barman points to Matty and I and says "You're right, you're right," because he saw that we did sweet F. A. to start this fight except for one jocular comment from Matty. We leave (having to be escorted by security) and drive home.
Now, this is kind of the gay part. When I went to register at APL at the Park I get told I can't play. I accept it, I only went to play to see my poker buddies really, so I move off. As I'm walking out Vicky goes to walk in and I say "Don't bother, we're banned." She goes and tries to sign in and is accepted immediately.
So this is my public statement. Fuck you, APL. Fuck you, drunks in Orange. I lost any respect I may have had for either of you that night. You guys are what, 35? And you're trying to start a blue with two 20 year old kids. Grow the fuck up. And fuck you, Craigie. I thought you were my fucking friend but its clear you go and ban me for this because you don't like me because I work for NPL and questioned your ridiculous tourney structure rather than because I stood in front of one of my best friends when he was about to get attacked by a violent drunk. Don't ban the girls for starting the shit, just ban Matty and I for watching your joke of a final table. I bet the drunk doesn't even have a permanent ban from APL, even though your rules explicitly state that drunken and disorderly peoplen are not to be allowed to play in APL events, and this is the reason why. Because they get owned by AA and get violent to innocent bystanders in the crowd.
Anyway, that's off my chest. Whether I get bashed by these guys next time I go to Orange to play or run an NPL event remains to be seen.
Until next time guys, stay clean.
Peace
Styles
1 comment:
Matty? are you talking about Matt Pakulski or is this his account i got this off his msn account if it is can u get him to contact me x0x_devils_angel_x0x@hotmail.com
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