Hi! I'm the king of spades. I'm one half of the most balling poker hand in the world.
This is my buddy, Jack of spades. Together with my buddy King we fucking STOMP THE SHIT OUT OF ANY HAND that comes across us when Stylez is playing us.
Tonight Diz Lizzle and I drove to Orange to play on the home turf of our two new ballers James "Fuck Yo Ace Up" Mann and Shannon "DJ Wolfendizzle" Hart. (These are their nicknames gangstified.) After busting out in the main game, we decided to play a sit 'n' go for $22 (no ghetto SNGs here).
The game was pretty much decided when I picked up Ks Js in the hole. This (if anyone doesn't know) is my lucky hand, and I haven't had it for months. It was limped around to me, and without fear, knowing I was impervious to being beat, I pushed all in.
The donkey at the table called quickly, then it got to a guy called Mitch, and he took ages before calling and showing As Ts. I wasn't worried, I could have seen AA and laughed so hard the chips would have been blown off the table from the sheer force of my mirth. The noob shows K4os and I'm like "meh, so one of my outs is gone. No biggie."
As expected, the Jack was the first to drop - putting me in a commanding lead. The 4 was next followed by what I was sure was coming -- the King.
"Excellent" said I, as I smoked a pipe and skulled a bottle of Jagermeister like the baller I am.
The beautiful thing about the flop was that the two other guys still had outs -- a 4 dropping would give Nooby Mc Noob a boat and Ace Ten needed a Q for the gutshot.
The turn came a blank giving them a tiny bit of hope, but alas, as I knew it would, the other Jack dropped on the riv for my SEXY boat.
That's how King Jack'o'spades rolls, mofuckers. I ended up winning the sit and go and putting the money towards the local orphanage (by towards it I mean towards the campaign for it to be demolished for a 24-hour poker lounge to be erected in its place.)
2 comments:
Ohhhhhh Ohhhhh thats how a real man plays a sng...... K J 'o' Spades what a hand. Virtually unbeatable. Nice work stylez 5 hats rollin again takin money off noobs who have no idea who they messin with. POICE!!!!!!!!
God you guys are losers........
im glad shannon and james wont be with you for much longer so your wackness doesnt rubb off on them
BTW all this "G" talk you do is lame you talk about "poppin caps" and shit when i RL you aint even touched a gun that aint plastic filled with water
and if you wanna know how i roll bring your bad asses to orange next friday and run ya mouth
coz when i hit them boyz do backflips
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